a word of voice to undergrads out there: prolong your college experience for as long as possible.
I do not know what I'm doing or what I will be doing. I'm studying for the GRE so I can pursue a Masters in a field that I'm not so sure about yet. And after five years of studying and reading textbooks (I actually read the chapters assigned), you'd think my vocabulary would be somewhat larger. Not so much. yep, I have nil to offer.
man, am i wallowing in self-loathe? no, this is so unlike me. why am i beating myself up so much?
because it's a big, scary world out there with so many possibilities! i don't know which one to face first!
does putting off the "Real World" really prolong the fact that I will have to continue the journey of life--begin a 'career,' build financial security, pursue higher education, and if it's in the cards for me, find "the ONE," get married and start another cycle of life.
am i a coward if i choose to go abroad and search for more adventure using the guise that I'm looking to enhance my international professional skills? in my heart of hearts, i do want to do all of the above: the American Real World, but i'm scared.
what is it that i'm scared of? a former mentor once taught me the following acronym: FEAR is nothing but False Expectations Appearing Real. i'm so good at preaching that to others too, but when it comes down to practicing it myself, now that's another story.
so this is the challenge i have for myself: face my FEARs, they are only inevitable situations. whether i choose to accept them and face them this year or in the next two years, i will still have to go through them. so why waste time, a friend asked. life isn't that long. life is definitely short, which is why i'm babbling about this to you friends and stalkees.
i understand this is what everyone says is typical "After-College-20something" talk, but i'm glad i can still express it amongst all the other 20Somethings out there that blog about their mundane thoughts. thanks for letting me be one of them!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Thursday, June 5, 2008
The Next Chapter of My Life Huh?
A whirlwind update: a month ago, I graduated from Andrews University with a BA emphasizing in International Communication and a BA in Spanish Studies (so yes, that does mean that I have the ability to speak with at least 90% fluency). The past four weeks, I was traveling around Chile and Brasil with 49 other students to complete the last six credits I needed for my Spanish degree. A great end to a college career huh?
Do I sound marketable enough yet? Well, I'm sure after 2 Master's degrees, 3 Doctorates, a PhD, and a command of at least 5-6 more languages, I can get that dream job--whatever(s) it is that I'm dreaming to achieve.
Anyways, I came back home less than a week ago, spent a long weekend at home with my family and dog, did some laundry, got my fill of TV and home-cooking, and packed up again to move back to good ol' Berrien Springs where I'm currently living [pretty destitutely] by myself in a basement apartment right next to the house, formerly known as the 'Filipino Sorority House,' where I lived with 3-4 other [Filipina] girls for a large part of my college experience.
Before I drove away from my Permanent home, my mother and I bowed our heads as we typically do before I drive or fly away. Her prayers usually requested for my safe travels, blessings for my studies and exams, wisdom in preparing future plans as I finish college, etc. This prayer had a little variation to it. This time, she said: "as Karen embarks on the next chapter of her life...please guide her...." and I can't remember the rest of her sentence. My attention got stuck with the first part of her sentence, "the next chapter of her life." Have I really already arrived at that chapter? What a cliché question, but true. When I first started college five years ago, I didn't think I'd arrive at this chapter of my life so quickly! I thought I still had plenty of time to figure out what to say to the staple question that seems to automatically activate in everyone's minds once you graduate from college: "so, what's next?"
My answer to "what's next?" isn't the most glamorous, but it'll have to do.
While I have lived away from home for at least 6-7 years now, I have never actually lived without a roommate. I'm supposed to have a roommate this summer, but circumstances altered at the last minute; therefore I am currently learning firsthand how to literally live alone for the first time in my life. I admit, the first night in my unfurnished, spacious apartment, made me feel a little nervous. It was almost as if I didn't know how to act around myself. Haha, okay maybe I sound a bit exaggerated. But seriously, I guess it really does take some getting used to. Don't get me wrong, I still have friends here, it's just different coming home to [sometimes a lot] people or coming home to walls and carpet. The walls don't have much of a witty remark to the question: "how was your day?"
Anyways, the second night was a bit more comfortable with myself. I could easily just call one of my friends and hang out at their PAD until I grow sleepy, but I wanted to give myself and I a shot. So, after collecting the rest of my belongings from a friend's basement, I unpacked them, discovered my small collection of DVDs, unrolled my cozy sleeping bag in the middle of the large living room, popped in season 4 of Friends, propped my PowerBook on a RubberMaid top, and settled in to five very old and still amusing episodes of Friends. I heard myself laughing out loud several times throughout the couple hours and realized that the family upstairs could most likely hear me. Despite that, I didn't want to reprimand myself from laughing. Not then, not ever. I realize this is something I will always have with me. If you've ever watched anything with me, you know that's true. As hard as I try, I have an honest to goodness difficult time keeping myself silent. It's just uncontrollable. However, I have to say I sincerely improved when amongst bigger groups of people and am somehow managing to keep the comments to a minimum. But, when I am by and with myself, as I was the second night, I don't even try. I just let myself lose. Boy did it feel good! And I did have fun by myself!
As for the first chapter of my life after college...I guess as a response to the question 'what's next', it would read: "Having Fun with and by Myself."
Do I sound marketable enough yet? Well, I'm sure after 2 Master's degrees, 3 Doctorates, a PhD, and a command of at least 5-6 more languages, I can get that dream job--whatever(s) it is that I'm dreaming to achieve.
Anyways, I came back home less than a week ago, spent a long weekend at home with my family and dog, did some laundry, got my fill of TV and home-cooking, and packed up again to move back to good ol' Berrien Springs where I'm currently living [pretty destitutely] by myself in a basement apartment right next to the house, formerly known as the 'Filipino Sorority House,' where I lived with 3-4 other [Filipina] girls for a large part of my college experience.
Before I drove away from my Permanent home, my mother and I bowed our heads as we typically do before I drive or fly away. Her prayers usually requested for my safe travels, blessings for my studies and exams, wisdom in preparing future plans as I finish college, etc. This prayer had a little variation to it. This time, she said: "as Karen embarks on the next chapter of her life...please guide her...." and I can't remember the rest of her sentence. My attention got stuck with the first part of her sentence, "the next chapter of her life." Have I really already arrived at that chapter? What a cliché question, but true. When I first started college five years ago, I didn't think I'd arrive at this chapter of my life so quickly! I thought I still had plenty of time to figure out what to say to the staple question that seems to automatically activate in everyone's minds once you graduate from college: "so, what's next?"
My answer to "what's next?" isn't the most glamorous, but it'll have to do.
While I have lived away from home for at least 6-7 years now, I have never actually lived without a roommate. I'm supposed to have a roommate this summer, but circumstances altered at the last minute; therefore I am currently learning firsthand how to literally live alone for the first time in my life. I admit, the first night in my unfurnished, spacious apartment, made me feel a little nervous. It was almost as if I didn't know how to act around myself. Haha, okay maybe I sound a bit exaggerated. But seriously, I guess it really does take some getting used to. Don't get me wrong, I still have friends here, it's just different coming home to [sometimes a lot] people or coming home to walls and carpet. The walls don't have much of a witty remark to the question: "how was your day?"
Anyways, the second night was a bit more comfortable with myself. I could easily just call one of my friends and hang out at their PAD until I grow sleepy, but I wanted to give myself and I a shot. So, after collecting the rest of my belongings from a friend's basement, I unpacked them, discovered my small collection of DVDs, unrolled my cozy sleeping bag in the middle of the large living room, popped in season 4 of Friends, propped my PowerBook on a RubberMaid top, and settled in to five very old and still amusing episodes of Friends. I heard myself laughing out loud several times throughout the couple hours and realized that the family upstairs could most likely hear me. Despite that, I didn't want to reprimand myself from laughing. Not then, not ever. I realize this is something I will always have with me. If you've ever watched anything with me, you know that's true. As hard as I try, I have an honest to goodness difficult time keeping myself silent. It's just uncontrollable. However, I have to say I sincerely improved when amongst bigger groups of people and am somehow managing to keep the comments to a minimum. But, when I am by and with myself, as I was the second night, I don't even try. I just let myself lose. Boy did it feel good! And I did have fun by myself!
As for the first chapter of my life after college...I guess as a response to the question 'what's next', it would read: "Having Fun with and by Myself."
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Travel Update
here's a quick summary what's been going on in the past few weeks:
1. I finally graduated from college on May 4! yaya!!
2. The day after graduation, May 5, I flew out (along with 40+ other students) to Santiago, Chile.
3. We spent a week in Chile where we were shivering our butts off because it's fall there right now and summer is just approaching in Chicago and Berrien Springs.
4. We arrived in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil on Sunday evening where we've been disfrutando a variety of things like El Cristo Redentor who overlooks and protects the entire city.
5. I will probably have a hard time putting up more pictures since I didn't bring my own laptop. anyways, there's one.
1. I finally graduated from college on May 4! yaya!!
2. The day after graduation, May 5, I flew out (along with 40+ other students) to Santiago, Chile.
3. We spent a week in Chile where we were shivering our butts off because it's fall there right now and summer is just approaching in Chicago and Berrien Springs.
4. We arrived in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil on Sunday evening where we've been disfrutando a variety of things like El Cristo Redentor who overlooks and protects the entire city.
5. I will probably have a hard time putting up more pictures since I didn't bring my own laptop. anyways, there's one.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Bush's top-down policies on torture
Please read the following and take action:
You can read more about U.S. involvement in torture and waterboarding at the website of American Civil Liberties Union.
You can either passively read this and move on with your daily activities or you can take an active role, make your voice count and click on the following link.
It's easy and simple, you can write a personalized message yourself or use the sample provided: Demand Accountability Now!
You can read more about U.S. involvement in torture and waterboarding at the website of American Civil Liberties Union.You can either passively read this and move on with your daily activities or you can take an active role, make your voice count and click on the following link.
It's easy and simple, you can write a personalized message yourself or use the sample provided: Demand Accountability Now!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Happy Earth Day!
Here are a few highlights of today's happenings in celebration of Earth Day on the campus of Andrews University.
An Eco-Concert held on the steps of the James White Library
More will follow...For now: GO GREEN @ WORK, HOME or DORM!
Please go to www.thegreenguide.com for more tips to living a life for a greener Earth.
An Eco-Concert held on the steps of the James White Library
More will follow...For now: GO GREEN @ WORK, HOME or DORM!
Please go to www.thegreenguide.com for more tips to living a life for a greener Earth.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Trembling Sleep
With my mind actively working the majority of the night, I woke easily on Friday morning. It was around 5:30. The walls of the house seemed to be trembling. Sleepy-eyed, I squinted out the window looking for any sign of thunder and lightning. It was still. I went to check if it was Gigi on the opposite side of the wall possibly moving stuff around. Nope, she was sleeping soundly and it would be way too early to be shaking the walls.
What could it have been? Could it have been an earthquake? In the Midwestern state of Michigan? Is it really possible? In just a few seconds, the trembling ended. I fell back asleep as easily as I had awoke.
On our drive to school, the radio commentators on Q101, a station in Illinois, were discussing people's reactions to earthquake. I didn't dream the trembles? But if the earthquake was in Illinois, how did I feel it in southwest Michigan?
In my second class, I had braved to ask my seatmates around me whether they may have felt any trembling in the early dawn. I was seeking confirmation that I wasn't crazy. Some girls residing in the dorm noted that they did feel some shaking, but just shrugged it off thinking it was their bunkmate shaking the bed. It was amusing because the girl's roommate argued saying she thought it was her roommate shaking the bed.
I opened up my laptop and went to CNN.com seeking more info on this mysterious trembling. It was on the front page headline. "Midwest quake felt far and wide". So I wasn't crazy after all. whew! The U.S. Geological Survey reports that people over 900 miles away felt the effects of the 5.2 magnitude earthquake that hit southern Illinois.
I was impressed to read the findings and thought I'd share it with you too. Although the earthquake wasn't of extremely high magnitude as they can be in California, it's pretty epic for the Midwest, considering that this is the land of tornados and hurricanes (east coast).
Check out the story for more details.
What could it have been? Could it have been an earthquake? In the Midwestern state of Michigan? Is it really possible? In just a few seconds, the trembling ended. I fell back asleep as easily as I had awoke.
On our drive to school, the radio commentators on Q101, a station in Illinois, were discussing people's reactions to earthquake. I didn't dream the trembles? But if the earthquake was in Illinois, how did I feel it in southwest Michigan?
In my second class, I had braved to ask my seatmates around me whether they may have felt any trembling in the early dawn. I was seeking confirmation that I wasn't crazy. Some girls residing in the dorm noted that they did feel some shaking, but just shrugged it off thinking it was their bunkmate shaking the bed. It was amusing because the girl's roommate argued saying she thought it was her roommate shaking the bed.
I opened up my laptop and went to CNN.com seeking more info on this mysterious trembling. It was on the front page headline. "Midwest quake felt far and wide". So I wasn't crazy after all. whew! The U.S. Geological Survey reports that people over 900 miles away felt the effects of the 5.2 magnitude earthquake that hit southern Illinois.
I was impressed to read the findings and thought I'd share it with you too. Although the earthquake wasn't of extremely high magnitude as they can be in California, it's pretty epic for the Midwest, considering that this is the land of tornados and hurricanes (east coast).
Check out the story for more details.
Monday, April 14, 2008
A Rich and Full Life
umm...per request of some viewers, i'm updating you on why i haven't posted in the past 2 weeks? i really have no good reason other than school's wrapping up in about 2 weeks and i'm trying to get my stuff done.
i've been spending a lot of time at work. just this weekend we had about 150 high school students visit Andrews and you can just imagine what kind of energy is required for that many kids.
however, aside from all the busi-ness of my mundane life, it does feel very rich and full of fun-loving homies. two weekends ago, i enjoyed the presence of our wonderful vimsicle, and up until a couple hours ago, we soaked up Ellen in all her Korean glory (she's really here!). and i got 2 weekends in a row of Nunz, it can't get better than that.
I can't really complain about life right now. nope, whatever Mastercard says, it can't buy this blissful joy i feel. I feel it's exactly the way it should be at this point in my life...*sigh*
i've been spending a lot of time at work. just this weekend we had about 150 high school students visit Andrews and you can just imagine what kind of energy is required for that many kids.
however, aside from all the busi-ness of my mundane life, it does feel very rich and full of fun-loving homies. two weekends ago, i enjoyed the presence of our wonderful vimsicle, and up until a couple hours ago, we soaked up Ellen in all her Korean glory (she's really here!). and i got 2 weekends in a row of Nunz, it can't get better than that.
I can't really complain about life right now. nope, whatever Mastercard says, it can't buy this blissful joy i feel. I feel it's exactly the way it should be at this point in my life...*sigh*
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